Thursday, July 12, 2018 at 4:42 am
Work 9:15 am - 6:15 pm.
Worked: 9:15 until 6:15
Break: 11:30 am
Lunch: Between 2 pm - 3 pm
I was pretty accurate w/ personal time. Although, possibly higher with not ready time.
Just make it through the day doing your absolute best.
No perfection, no completion. Just try. Put forth your best effort and one step moving forward.
Today's hours were 8:25 hours total. Fraud call right at the end.
8:00 sick time for tomorrow to take a personal day for some much-needed self-love and provided time to get all appointments, treatment plans, and options taken care of for further instruction for thyroid.
Finally, 8:00 hours of PTO for Friday due to our camping trip.
Ending the week at a total of 40:25 hours (not OT)
I received an extra day off for my own peace of mind and capability to reset my mind and soul. Camping or not, I have tomorrow to try to bring myself down to a lower level when it comes to hormones and emotions.
Went to work with the intent that I would try my best to reduce AHT. I'm not sure I was successful with the few longer calls I had today but I did try very hard to get people off the phone in a quicker manner.
5:32 hours, very broken sleep.
A lot more calm and relaxed today. Knew that I had the ball rolling with each set of doctors. Took calls to the best of my ability and with a four day weekend, for me to look ahead to, I didn't have much care in the world. I'd say today was probably one of the better days I've had in quite some time.
Spent time with Mike, which I wasn't expecting when I got home. Everyone FFYS for dinner. Around 10:30 pm, everyone went to bed and since I was halfway through a cup of coffee, the house was quiet, and my alarms were turned off with no absolute necessity to be awake at a certain hour, I thought I'd get some uninterrupted blogging and web design time in.
I requested an extra day off for myself to provide some time to allow myself to have some major resets and self-care opportunities to allow myself to come down from such a high, scary rollercoaster ride to something a little more ... tame.
Not going to write a lot today and sum as much up as I can.
I made the decision before even going to work today that I was going to go in and take an attempt to take a personal day off work tomorrow. I had no intention of actually receiving this, however, after processing the request and forwarding an email to the scheduler and my manager, I was granted an ‘exception’ for paid time off day. Yus!
Fully Intended Personal Day Off Itinary
I fully intend to take this extra day to not only get some things done that very seriously need to get done but most importantly to figure out what comes next. I went and took my bloodwork around 7 am this morning so the doctor had that on file for tonight and most certainly tomorrow. Knowing what I had experienced yesterday with leaving voicemails, waiting for responses, missing responses, and calling doctors back to either leave another voicemail or pray to connect with the doctor, assistant, or whoever else I spoke to.
I said enough was enough. I took the day off knowing well off that my bloodwork was going to come back and there was going to be two ways that this was going to go. 1. Endo was going to say “sorry, we really don’t know which direction to do.” OR worse, it will be, “Sorry, this medication isn’t doing what it is supposed to which indicates there’s something more going on here. We ARE going to schedule the scan for as soon as possible.” This scan has been scheduled and canceled two, three times tops. It’s been a rollercoaster with emotions on my own end with how I’m feeling, let alone the nonsense I’m being provided by the doctor itself.’
Psych decided, not a problem he should be adjusting
This information was confirmed when my pdoc’s assistant called me to state that he was absolutely not touching this because it is not BP related and instead all hormone/thyroid related and that my endo needs to take care of this, not him. He did indicate that he would replace my current sleeping aid with one that I had previously that caused me to be paralyzed when I would awake. I was constantly so groggy and exhausted that I couldn’t function. Yea, absolutely will not be going back on that.
Bloodwork levels came back. T3, free and T4, free is back down from high, to normal, to now borderline being low. This does indicate that Endo will call me to let me know what our next steps are, which I believe at this point will include scheduling the scan *again*. Yippee! Or, she could go, ‘let’s go back up to a slightly higher dose where you are currently are at’ but that doesn’t make much sense either because 10 mg lowered it to normal, 5mg lowered it to almost too low. So, would it go back up to go closer to normal? Perhaps, 7.5mg would be perfect. I honestly have no clue. I’m no doctor, and although I try to find answers myself. This one has me puzzled.
What’s going to actually happen instead…
So, tomorrow, with my day off which I thought would be a day filled with back-and-forth phone calls, leaving voicemails, to miss callbacks, and then returning calls during personal and not ready time in work, will now consist of waiting of one phone call from Endo telling me my next steps.
I always knew that treating, well, practically anything at this point, is a process that needs to be maintained and adjusted, and nothing is simply “take this and the world will make sense again”. Why cannot life be like that once again? I will do as I am told tomorrow per instructions of my Endo pending her review of my new lab levels. We will see what happens.
Final Notes: Camping – Yes or No?
[One little additional tidbit] We still are undecided about camping at this point. IF we decide to go, Mike is going to have to pray he gets out of work early tomorrow because we have absolutely nothing together, set up, or packed. I have to run to the store tomorrow to pick up the items we would need (and will use if we do or don’t go regardless). Weather is indicating mid-90s with rain all weekend. Everyone has campers with airconditioning and I’ll be damned if I’m stuck in a tent with three boys who cannot go play or do anything around the grounds because of the rain or it’s too hot and we’ are stuck playing card games on an air mattress for the weekend. Not uh. I’d much rather buy and cook our camping food, build a fire at home, invite some friends over, eat like we planned do, maybe have some board game fun in there, and hang out here at home because if it’s hot, I can go inside and cool off. So, pending … tomorrow’s decision … camping may or may not be canceled for this weekend. We will see.